[Fuck his life. Quentin hates his own faerie nature as he takes a moment to think out his response, and it's-]
...Both. Both because if I'd gotten away with it, we wouldn't be having this conversation. Mysterio wouldn't be something I'm burying because- [A small, mirthless laugh as he scrubs a hand down his face again. Honesty is exhausting.] I hate this. I hate that I'm dressed like him, all the time, that I can't fucking- shed it. I want it gone. I don't want to look at it, and I can't because these are the fucking bracers, and gloves, and- everything.
[His next words are quieter, but Steven can probably still hear them as Quentin looks away.]
I ruined a kid's life. I ruined plenty of lives. And the longer I'm here, the more I see plenty of what I did in technicolor. Not just... numbers. Or little simulations to run around. I didn't want to get my hands personally dirty as Mysterio. Now? [He makes a vague sweeping gesture to indicate Ryslig in general.] I've died, twice. One of 'em was more visceral than I ever got, but that's not saying much. I'm tired, Steven. I don't want to go back to that.
[Action] cw: briefly touches on Ryslig-related deaths
...Both. Both because if I'd gotten away with it, we wouldn't be having this conversation. Mysterio wouldn't be something I'm burying because- [A small, mirthless laugh as he scrubs a hand down his face again. Honesty is exhausting.] I hate this. I hate that I'm dressed like him, all the time, that I can't fucking- shed it. I want it gone. I don't want to look at it, and I can't because these are the fucking bracers, and gloves, and- everything.
[His next words are quieter, but Steven can probably still hear them as Quentin looks away.]
I ruined a kid's life. I ruined plenty of lives. And the longer I'm here, the more I see plenty of what I did in technicolor. Not just... numbers. Or little simulations to run around. I didn't want to get my hands personally dirty as Mysterio. Now? [He makes a vague sweeping gesture to indicate Ryslig in general.] I've died, twice. One of 'em was more visceral than I ever got, but that's not saying much. I'm tired, Steven. I don't want to go back to that.