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[Already, Peter's words are echoing through the back of Steven's mind. "He didn't cope well with the Snap, and refuses to deal with it." And Peter thought that counts as 'excuses', but Steven doesn't see it that way at all. The human mind can crack under pressure. That's not an excuse to do bad things, that's just a reason, in the same way one loud noise can be the reason for an avalanche.

Steven wouldn't even exist if it weren't for the human mind dealing with grief in its own peculiar way.]

... Take your time. [That's all he can say, really. He's the one dragging this out into the open, and he knows it's usually for the best if people talk about these sorts of things, but that doesn't mean he's going to be pushy about it.]

[Keep it together, you jackass. He's not here to see you crack, a part of Quentin hisses. It still takes him a moment to get his composure vaguely settled before dropping his hands, as his wings shift to wrap better around him. He's never liked feeling exposed.]

...Thanks. This is- what I meant, when I said that there's layers. I can't talk about one without the other. I wish I could, but- [A small, jerky shrug as he lets out a shaky breath. His fingers curl against the couch cushion to settle his nerves.] Can't. It started there. Is why I even looked for people in similar boats. Ex-Stark employees. Abandoned, angry. Lonely. None of us felt like we had anything. Mysterio was something.

[Quentin lets out a huff that's not quite a laugh, looking away again as he scratches at his jaw.]

We wanted to be the next Iron Man. Funny, right? A bunch of engineers, all trying to imitate one and still failing.

[There's that word again. "Funny". It's not, though. It's frustrating, if anything. And Steven doesn't want to lecture Quentin on things he knows very little about. For all he knows, Iron Man really was a twat. Even so, there's one thing that stands out to him and he has to question it.]

You couldn't stand Stark, but you still wanted to be like him? Just to take what he had? Out of spite? [He hangs his head, shaking it.] If you all had changed your thinking a little, you wouldn't have needed to make a rubbish superhero. You could've made a real one. Isn't that all Iron Man was, anyway? Just a bloke with a load of charm and fancy technology? You lot could've helped people instead of... Instead of lying and killing.

[Steven's vehemence makes Quentin wince and pull back a little. He is absolutely making things worse here, and he doesn't know how not to do that. Still doesn't fully know how Steven ticks, or how he can frame this in a way the other man will grasp better.]

No, see, that's- the thing. Over ten of us couldn't even meet half of him. [The words taste like ash in his mouth.] And I hate admitting that. It was spite. Stark had everything, when it felt like we had nothing. It's-

[Quentin gestures a bit inefficiently, looking lost.]

All we could do was trickery. Things that looked real. Making something actually real was... beyond us. We didn't have his resources anymore, or his funds. It was leftovers. Scraps. Whatever we could pull together out of old projects, since we all went 'fuck the NDAs.' He took our works, and tossed out whatever didn't fit. He tossed us out, if we didn't fit.

[Alright, now that? That's excuses. Or maybe Quentin's just fooling himself now, trying to make himself into a victim when he's the one doing the bullying. And that's enough to finally trigger the Neph thirst for justice inside Steven- to crack his limitless patience and drive him to anger. The light within his eyes manifests and his halo grows brighter with the emotion.]

Don't give me that rubbish! Something real wasn't beyond you! Your trickery- your scraps mucked up Tower Bridge! It got people killed! And if that was all just a bit of collateral damage to fit your little story, imagine what you could've done if you'd focused your efforts to fight off real threats...! Imagine how many aliens and terrorists you could've blown sky-high instead! But you didn't even try, did you?

[Oh he's fucked up. Quentin has absolutely fucked up, and a part of him wants to shrink and skitter away entirely out of this conversation. But he said he'd try, so.

Fuck. He scrubs a hand down his face to try and center himself.]

No, I'm not- I'm not talking about that yet. At the start, that's how things felt. That's how we framed it, because it felt true. It was the story we kept repeating and telling ourselves, because we wanted to be right. I'm not saying we were. But we couldn't make another Iron Man, or even someone in his league. Not really. Logistically, that was a fluke. We were fucking idiots to think it'd ever work.

[How does he even begin to explain this-? He's not touching the main picture yet for a reason. There's just... so much to cover as he pinches the bridge of his nose. Yelling or getting angry would be the worst outcome right now, so- he can't. He's not allowed to. Fuck, part deux.]

Please, ask me something else about Mysterio. Something concrete. I'm just making this worse.

[Steven rises to his feet. He takes note of Quentin's desperation, of the scrambling over his own words and the little physical gestures. There's a part of him that feels bad. A part of him that insists he needs to calm down and take a step back, because this isn't how he wanted this conversation to go. But then... There's another part of him that's still burning white hot, and he can't douse it no matter how hard he tries.

Quentin wanted him to ask something concrete, so he'll ask something concrete. The question that's been on his mind for over a week now, and he still hasn't gotten an answer to so far. It comes out in a hiss.]

Are you saying that Mysterio was a bloody mistake because you regret what you've done, or was it just a mistake because you didn't get away with it?

[Fuck his life. Quentin hates his own faerie nature as he takes a moment to think out his response, and it's-]

...Both. Both because if I'd gotten away with it, we wouldn't be having this conversation. Mysterio wouldn't be something I'm burying because- [A small, mirthless laugh as he scrubs a hand down his face again. Honesty is exhausting.] I hate this. I hate that I'm dressed like him, all the time, that I can't fucking- shed it. I want it gone. I don't want to look at it, and I can't because these are the fucking bracers, and gloves, and- everything.

[His next words are quieter, but Steven can probably still hear them as Quentin looks away.]

I ruined a kid's life. I ruined plenty of lives. And the longer I'm here, the more I see plenty of what I did in technicolor. Not just... numbers. Or little simulations to run around. I didn't want to get my hands personally dirty as Mysterio. Now? [He makes a vague sweeping gesture to indicate Ryslig in general.] I've died, twice. One of 'em was more visceral than I ever got, but that's not saying much. I'm tired, Steven. I don't want to go back to that.

[Steven hadn't taken into account that both was even an option, but since Quentin can't lie, maybe that's the best outcome that could've come from this question. The more he hears, the more the fight goes out of him. Quentin did horrible things, but he's suffering for it now. Ryslig's making him suffer for it. It still doesn't sound like remorse, but it's certainly moving along to something similar, isn't it?

The glow in his eyes finally goes out and he releases a deep breath.]

Then don't go back to that.

[A few seconds of hesitation, then he steps forward to take a seat on the other end of the couch. He's not looking Quentin's way, though. Leaning forward in his seat, his shoes are a safe bet for his attention.]

... Sorry for getting worked up. It's a... It's a Neph thing, I s'pose. 'Divine retribution' and all that. I'll try and get a better handle on it.

[Quentin can't help the small, tired laugh that breaks out of him. He gives Steven a brief glance, only to look away. How does he keep ending up surrounded by people who feel guilty over feeling things? Geeze. No one appreciates a good bout of anger these days.

The smell of butterscotch is a new thing, though. Halo looks nice. It makes him think of the way light glitters through glass beads.]

No, it's- fine. It's fine. Emotions are weird sometimes. I'm sorry this isn't... clean-cut, or neat. [He starts to reach out to pat Steven on the shoulder, only to hesitate and pull his hand back. He's not sure if the light touch would be welcome anymore.] It's... not going to be. Not all the time. You got any other burning questions-?

[Emotions are weird, Steven's just a bit miffed that the monster thing's making it all even more complicated. He doesn't want to judge and condemn everyone, that's a bit too much like a certain cult leader. He's still not entirely satisfied with what he's been told, but if Quentin wants to change, the guy needs to be given enough space to grow. So Steven shakes his head lightly.]

No. There's nothing else to ask of you. And I wanna be cross you didn't tell me, but that'd make the world's biggest hypocrite, wouldn't it? [He sits up a bit straighter, hands folding in his lap, but the sideways glance he throws Quentin's way is just a brief one.] ... Listen, I... I can tell you about Marc and me, but you have to promise not to hold it against him, yeah?

[Well, at least Steven hasn't left. That's... something. Quentin will take it at the moment, as he listens quietly. He doesn't miss that glance, though.]

...This doesn't have to be a quid-pro-quo thing if you don't want to. I still have a few secrets I won't give you, for a while. Things that are gonna stay mine. Not related to Mysterio but just- me. [He taps his own chest briefly, with the slight click of chitin against chitin.] But- sure. I won't. Barely know the guy anyways. I can give him the benefit of the doubt.

[Oh great. More secrets. But if it's not related to Mysterio, Steven doubts it's an 'I killed even more people' sort of secret. He'll let it slip.]

It's not a quid-pro-quo thing. I meant to tell you sooner, I just didn't know how. It's uh... [His voice reaches a soft little high note, as it often does when he's nervous.] God, this is gonna weird you out, I reckon.

[Because he knows exactly who caused that last death Quentin suffered. Dr. Osborn broadcast that for everyone in Ryslig to hear. It's for the same reason he didn't tell Peter. He's already said that Marc is harmless, but negative associations are bound to happen. So he breathes a deep sigh, hangs his head back for a second and finally runs both his hands over his face. Here goes nothing, and it's all coming out in an uncomfortable ramble.]

The reason Marc and me look alike is because back home, we share the same body. That's how it's always been. I dunno why the Fog decided we'd be better off having our own, but. Uh. Yep. That sleeping disorder that I thought I had? That was just Marc stretching his legs and doing his own things at night. Can't even say I blame him. Having to watch from the inside gets tedious fast. But now the body's all mine and that's even worse, somehow. Feels lonely. Barking, right?

[The softest little chuckle escapes him; something strained and weak. He throws another sideways glance Quentin's way, bracing himself for something like horror or disgust, or confirmation that he's crazy.]

[Quentin stares at Steven blankly for a moment, as things process.

Well. This is. Definitely not what he expected at all. But- okay. Sure. This may as well happen, then. And here he was just gonna guess the guy was an... estranged twin or something.

He's going to focus on the one part of this he even feels alright talking about.]

...Not... really? You got used to having him around, and then he was gone. It leaves a gap. It's not... something you get over overnight. Especially if you were- together, for a while? I don't know how to phrase this, that sounds wrong.

[Quentin's confused at the moment, but he's got the spirit. It helps that he's focusing on what's familiar to him though: loneliness.]

You get the point.

[A beat, before Quentin probably wades right into the metaphorical deep-end.]

...You swear he's not an evil twin or something, though? Just- [He laughs at himself, scrubbing a hand down his face.] First time I ran into him, I thought he was some Ryslig... thing. A warped reflection of you. That's. Kind of my only question at the moment. A double-check. You know the guy; he's the real deal-?

[It's a somewhat promising reaction at first. Understanding. And that's more than Steven can say for himself when he found out about the Mysterio thing. But then the conversation takes a turn and those last few words really hit Steven where it hurts. He would love to say he's made peace with this particular aspect of the situation, but he hasn't.

He raises one hand as if to move it up to his face, then drops it onto his leg again. His brow furrows so strongly that it almost hurts.]

He is. He's... He's always been the real deal. 'Cause he's the original, isn't he? I'm the warped reflection. Just a... an afterthought who came in later, and I didn't even know it. I'm not even really British. Most of my memories are fake. I... I'm not a real person. [Steven's voice cracked just a little bit on that last one. Oops.]

[Oh fuck. He's stepped into a conversational minefield he didn't even know was there. Quentin just meant 'real deal' in the sense that the guy was the one Steven knew, not- this. Oh no. Time to... figure something out, on the fly.]

...I dunno. You seem- pretty real to me. [He reaches over carefully to take Steven's hand. The grasp can easily be broken out of.] See? Solid. I knew you first, so that's why I... thought that. Him being potentially not- right. But you're right, you're not- bullshit. Take it from a bullshitter, if you weren't a real person, there wouldn't be-

[He gestures a bit helplessly with his free hand, struggling for a good word.]

Substance. Quirks. Things feel real when they have some truth in there. Ergo, you're real. Who else would write network messages like a letter, huh? Or know all those neat things about Dracula. I'm pretty sure that's all you, Steven. [He gives the other man's hand a small squeeze to emphasize his point.]

[Deep down, Steven knows exactly what Quentin meant when he asked. It just didn't stop his thoughts from derailing. He can't shake the image of a young Marc huddled up in his room, their mother banging furiously on the door. A memory that was never supposed to be shared between them, because 'that was the whole point of Steven'.

When Quentin's hand goes for his own, he doesn't shake it off. And he hears all of what's being said to him, but it somehow doesn't register as anything worthwhile. Who cares if he's different from Marc? Who cares if he lives life his own way? That was the whole point of him too.]

It is all me, but... But the only reason I exist is because Marc went through something horrible, and... [He swallows thickly, raising his free hand to his eyes. They're starting to burn. Some strained mix between a chuckle and a sob escapes him.] ... Hell if I know what happened at Tower Bridge. I don't remember anything like it. Chances are, I wasn't in town for it, but that won't stop me from thinking I've been living in London for years already. You know where... where he first got the accent? Off some movie he loved when he was just a lad. That just makes me the world's biggest joke, don't it?

[Oh, Steven. Quentin gives Steven's hand another small squeeze, and one of his wings very carefully drapes over the other man's shoulder. It's the best version of a hug Quentin can do without letting go.]

Hey, honey, no. [The endearment slips out before he can think about it.] No, you're not a joke. It means that you came from somewhere loved. That's gotta mean something, right? It's... I don't know how to talk about this kinda thing, but- it's your experience either way. Your life. This is your life here. Marc's just... showing up late to it, this time.

[He goes quiet for a moment, before deciding to give Steven another piece of things. One of those last remaining 'secrets' he's got.]

My uncle liked doing voices for fun. Does that mean he was a joke? Nah. You aren't either. Just means that something stuck. Was appreciated.

[Steven just feels so exhausted all of a sudden. And weak. He spent two months trying to adjust to life by himself; to be his own person again, as he always thought he'd been, but it just wasn't the same anymore now that he knows the truth. And having the body 24/7- not even getting a break to sleep- is much harder than it has any right to be.

He feels the squeeze into the palm of his hand, followed by the draping. It's like a soft quilt's been tossed over him and at first, that's what he assumes it was. It's not until he turns his head lightly that he realizes it's Quentin's wing. ... God, he's being comforted by the guy he was yelling at just a few minutes ago. He's really that pathetic, isn't he?]

Thanks... [He rubs at his eyes one more time before lowering his hand again. It comes to rest on top of Quentin's. When he speaks again, his voice is a little nasal.] 'M sorry for... For this. S'pose I'm just really tired too. But hey, all cards on the table now, right? ...Well, most cards. Those were the big ones.

[That whole Moon Knight thing is something for another day. Or possibly never. That's up to Quentin.]

[There's another small squeeze to Steven's hand. Quentin's not letting go any time soon, for as long as Steven needs it. Emotional stuff like this is... exhausting. This can be their small exhaustion zone for now. A place to rest.]

Hey, it was a lot to cover, lotta things to process. Shit like this is... [He lets out a small huff of a laugh, looking down for a moment.] It's a lot. But yeah, all big cards on the table. Think we can call this a success for now-? We could use the break.

[He's not ending the conversation at all. Just gently tabling this portion of things for a breather.]

[Once there's another squeeze, Steven's gaze strays down towards their hands and a faint smile tugs at his lips. The sensation- the warmth helps to ground him. He'd question if it's an act, but the gesture matches Quentin's words and he can't lie. For a 'bad guy', Quentin sure is a nice guy.]

Yep. Break sounds good. [The tip of his tail swishes, tapping against the bottom of the couch, near the floor. It has something of a mind of its own until he learns to control it better.] So how uh... How's your week been?

[Quentin can't help the genuine laugh that escapes when Steven asks him how his week's been. His wing slips off of Steven's shoulder before he gently thunks his head against the same spot, like a cat headbutting against a hand. God. Quentin is so fucked. Steven is such a dweeb, how dare he be charming even now.

The sudden snap of lingering tension is weirdly relieving.]

I- sorry, but, ah, alright, for the most part! [He's still smiling a little as he sits back up.] Bit weird, bit empty, but- alright. Coulda been better, coulda been worse. Happy we could talk. Was thinking about trying a new recipe I found so I could just- do something, y'know? Some kinda... bread thing, I think. You get up to anything recently-?

[Aw man, Steven liked having that wing there. It wasn't on the level of a weighted blanket, but it still spread the sort of pressure that brought comfort. He's not even sure what to make of that headbutt. Some sort of faerie thing, maybe? Or maybe Quentin's just that quirky. He doesn't mind it, but caught him off guard a little.

What Steven meant was whether Quentin saw any familiar faces in the batch of newcomers, or got caught up in that candy debacle or anything like that. But you know what? The resulting ramble about trivial things like bread recipes is nicer to listen to.]

Oh, uh... Not really. Just work and trying to avoid my lush, dodgy neighbour on account of a supervillain history. As one does. [He laughs weakly. Really, he feels bad about that, he does. The hand that's on top of Quentin's own gives it a quick pat.]

[Quentin snorts at Steven's reply. Honestly? Fair. If he was in Steven's position, he probably would have done the same.]

As one does, of course. I get that this stuff is lush- [He gestures to the red fluff around part of his neck, tone lightly teasing.] But c'mon. I think there's probably a better word for it. I'll give you dodgy, though.

[Steven blinks, unsure whether Quentin's just joking or whether he genuinely confused the British meaning of that word with the American one. He uh... Yep. He'll just roll with it, then.]

Dapper? Smart? ...Probably soft, it looks soft. Does it shed a lot? Big tufts of fluff in the shower drain? [God help him, he can't stop nattering now.]

WELCOME TO YOUR PRIVATE CHANNEL, HASNOFEAR. FOR SECURE COMMUNICATION, USE 13.15.15.14 * HASNOFEAR has joined 13.15.15.14 <HASNOFEAR>** Hello! This is Steven Grant! If you need something, just leave me a message and I'll get back to you asap!

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[Action] cw: briefly touches on Ryslig-related deaths

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[Action] CW for Hollywood DID, let's gooo

[Action] ayyyy, here we goooooo

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